I’m Enkilu, your
history teller! My
new outfit has
absolutely no
respect for a
timeline.

Today: The Ones Who
Went Too Far. 
Think historical
record-book
energy— not official
Guinness awards!

First: my shamshir—
a curved sword
associated with
Persian traditions.

Back-mounted for
dramatic entrances.
Terrible for
scratching an itch.

My Greek-inspired
helmet brings the
ancient-world drama.

The crest adds
height. Sadly, not
wisdom.

A Scottish-inspired
tartan kilt! My
costume jumps
centuries without
asking permission.

Excellent movement.
Absolutely no
pockets for my
historical baggage.

Next:
Joseon-inspired
scale armor, with
overlapping plates
as the visual idea.

Joseon = former
Korea

My outfit is fantasy
history cosplay—not
a museum-certified
reconstruction.

These
Viking-inspired
fantasy boots
complete the look.

Actual historical
footwear varied.
Mine come with extra
cartoon coziness.

An imperial-eagle
shield inspired by
the Holy Roman
Empire!

The eagle looks
authoritative. I
mostly use it to
hide my notes.

And an
Egyptian-inspired
papyrus roll—my very
dramatic notebook.

Let’s open the
record scroll. First
rule: a legendary
claim is not a
verified world
record.

Who is famously
said
to have had
the most
wives?

King Solomon

King Solomon is a
legendary answer—not
a verified champion.

1 Kings 11:3
describes 700 wives
of royal birth and
300 concubines. That
is 700 wives, not
1,000 marriages.

Respectful costume
tribute: helmet out,
royal crown in! My
wedding-planner
budget remains zero.

Who fought
the
most wars?

Louis XIV

There is no agreed
individual record.
Our contender is
Louis XIV, king of
France from 1643 to
1715.

His personal rule
included three major wars:
the Franco-Dutch War, the
Nine Years’ War, and the War
of the Spanish Succession—
plus two shorter conflicts.

Wars are not battles,
and ruling during a
war is not the same as
personally fighting in it.

In tribute, I’m borrowing his royal
look. My boots are retiring; these
court shoes are reporting for
extremely uncomfortable duty.

Who traveled the
farthest—
and for
the longest?

Ibn Battuta

For a remarkable
premodern journey,
meet Ibn Battuta,
the Moroccan scholar
and traveler.

From 1325 to 1354,
his travels spanned
nearly 30 years and
an estimated 120,000
kilometers. That is
a reconstructed
estimate, not an
odometer reading.

His travel account
is known as the
Rihla. He is our
premodern standout,
not a proven
all-time winner in
either distance or
duration.

Wig out. Travel
turban in. In his
honor, I’m finally
wearing shoes
designed to go
somewhere.

Who owns
the most
gold?

Juan José Retamero

Some reporting names
Juan José Retamero,
the Spanish
businessman
controlling
Argentina’s
Gualcamayo mine.

A June 2026 report
cited 104.69 tonnes
in certified mining
reserves.
Underground reserves
are not the same as
extracted gold bars
in a private vault!

That does not
establish a verified
worldwide personal
gold-hoarding
record. This entry
belongs in our
disputed-claims
section.

Shield out, mining
hard hat in—as a
tribute to the
industry, not a
trophy for a proven
record.

Who dated
the
most women?

Giacomo Casanova

No verified record
exists. Our famous
historical pick is
Giacomo Casanova,
the Venetian
adventurer and
memoirist.

His own account is
commonly credited
with 122 women.
Memoir claims are
not independently
verified
statistics—and
affairs are not a
standardized count
of dates.

Papyrus out, memoir
in! I respect the
storytelling, not
treating people like
trophies.

Final score:
spectacular stories,
complicated
evidence, and an
outfit that has gone
entirely too far.